Ask Yentl

Mental Yentl the Meditation Matchmaker
Answers your Questions about Meditation - P. 3

Dear Yentl,
      I cannot quiet myself nor apply the discipline to just begin to meditate! I think I'm set, but I have expectations from earlier experiences and continue to avoid beginning again with the meditation that I know will work for me. Can you beat that? Knowing and wanting yet avoiding. What strategies or trickery do you advise to help me finally sit down and begin? Why am I resisting?
      I loved how thorough and literate you were in replying to Thomas. I will read Dark Night of the Soul. Thank you for that, too. — Paula

Dear Paula,
      You ask why you resist meditation, yet it seems you have answered your own question, at least partly. Expectations create all kinds of problems in life generally, so it's no surprise that they can adversely affect meditation.
      It comes down to this: expectations will get in the way if you let them, so don't let them. Remind yourself that meditation, at the very least, is an opportunity to get relaxed, centered and peaceful, and that it has health benefits. These reasons alone are incentives to meditate. If not, ask yourself, "Who runs my life, my expectations or my Higher Self?"
      As for resistance to meditation generally, many people experience this at times. For those who must wrestle with themselves to meditate, I offer here a few possibilities:
      1. Comparing your own meditation experiences with those of others can get in your way. If feelings of inadequacy begin to creep in when you hear about others' beautiful, blissful, vision-laden meditative experiences, remind yourself that your meditation process is unique to you, and affirm that your process is taking you where you need to go.
      2. Starting a meditation practice means venturing into the Great Unknown. Do you fear the unknown? If you do, you'll likely experience resistance.
      3. Many forms of meditation require turning off some aspects of the conscious mind, for example, judging, analyzing, thinking one step ahead or allowing mental chatter to run rampant. For people who habitually use the conscious mind to the exclusion of all else, shutting off that part of the mind, even temporarily, may cause feelings of uneasiness. To them, changing focus feels like giving up control. Do you have control issues that need some attention?
      4. Individuals who are unaccustomed to looking within for answers may be afraid of what they'll find within. Are you afraid of meeting new parts of yourself?
      5. If you are someone who feels they must always be "doing something" and meditation feels too much like "doing nothing," then you may need to experiment with meditating at different times of day. If you find an ideal time but still experience nagging thoughts that you should be doing somethng, then you may need to examine your basic beliefs about what "something" means. To me, getting relaxed, centered and focused is something. Taking steps to improve one's health is something also.
      6. Occasionally during meditation. personal demons may rear their ugly heads. The spontaneous arising of fears, suppressed emotions, unresolved conflicts, feelings of guilt or other psychological bugaboos can be disheartening and even intimidating. If and when such things occur in your meditation, it is best to regard them not as interferences or by-products of meditation, but as gifts of meditation. Respect that your practice has brought up something for clearing, so that further progress can be made, and work through what has been revealed with honesty, humility and courage.


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